The marvel comics and the marvel movies are the rage now. The age of Ultron has just been released and things are falling into place as we speak.
Everybody knows how it feels to be angry.Look at the hulk himself , the green man. People have the natural tendency to get angry when they are confronted with annoying people or enraging or traumatic events, nobody is excused from experiencing it at least once in his life. This emotional state comes in different intensities and is considered an adaptive response to situations. A person can experience mild anger to intense anger, depending on the trigger. The most common fact that people know about anger is that it is a powerful emotion caused by some internal or external events. However, not all people know that an emotion as intense as this is always accompanied by some biological and physiological changes. When anger becomes out of control, it could be fatal. This is where anger management gets in and so does a good psych.
When confronted with enraging people or events, specially if you read the marvel universe or the comics it is normal for a person to get angry. And depending on the person, this feeling can either be just a fleeting kind of annoyance or a full-fledged fury. When it becomes a full-fledged rage, it becomes rather destructive and can lead to problems that may affect one’s overall quality of life. That is why it is important to know when it’s already time to seek the help of a psychologist.
I remember an old friend before whose father was a victim of hit and run. Her father died in that accident, but the driver who had hit him remained at large until he was caught two years after. The first time she saw the face of the culprit at the police station, she was not able to control her anger. She was so angry she was forced to hit the man to release her anger. Because of the intensity of the feeling she felt that moment, her heart rate and blood pressure shot up until she collapsed. She was immediately rushed to the hospital but it was too late. While inside the ambulance, she was pronounced dead of heart attack.
That is just one of the many stories that demonstrate how important it is to learn how to deal with anger. Because when this feeling becomes out of control, it does not only have the capacity to destroy relationships but lives as well. My friend could have still been alive today, had she known how to handle her anger.
When our angry feelings are triggered, we always have two choices. It is either we stay quiet or keep the angry feeling to ourselves until it vanishes away, or shout it out loud, just as my friend who died did. In reality, only a few people know how to control themselves when they are angry because scientifically speaking, people’s natural way of expressing their anger is by responding aggressively. When we know that we are being attacked, our natural reaction is to defend ourselves and if possible, strike out the people or objects that annoy us. However, there are two factors that limit the extent to which our anger can bring us—-common sense and social norms.
Imagine that you are running late for work but there is nothing you can do to get going because you are stuck in traffic and it is the imprudent traffic enforcer who is at fault. If you are so cheesed off by the circumstance, you probably would want to grab a gun and shoot the traffic enforcer as you try to satisfy your anger. But because there are social norms and you know that murder is against the law, what you do is just keep the angry feeling to yourself. You know you cannot go as far as killing, so you try to sidestep that aggressive outward expression as much as you can. But holding in your anger can also be fatal as it can lead to pathological risks.
According to a renowned psychologist, anger management is not just about holding it in. It is about learning how to express anger while not being aggressive but by being assertive. Holding it in or suppressing it is good, but you cannot settle at that. You have to learn how to handle things in an assertive way. You do this by understanding the situation first, understanding what your needs are and how to meet them, and by understanding others by imagining yourself in their shoes. Proper anger management involves respect.
My friend who died several years ago died because she failed to deal with her anger the right way. She became too cynical and hostile until she went ballistic and everything went out of control–her blood pressure included. That story only shows how fatal failure to deal with anger can be.
There are people who are born naturally patient. They are those who know how to control their internal responses, calm themselves down and wait until their angry feelings subside. But there are also those who are born naturally short-tempered. They are those who get mad easily and find it hard to control their reactions. If you think you belong to the latter group, it is important to find better ways to deal with the emotion before it destroys you.
Outward expression of anger like shouting is not bad until it hurts others. In the same way, inward expression like staying quiet is not always good especially when all you do is suppress the feeling but not try to change your perspective and ease yourself up. In whatever circumstance, the best way to keep anger from being triggered is by keeping a positive attitude. People who know how to control their anger and let things pass are naturally happier than those who don’t. But if you find it difficult to deal with it despite your best efforts, it is best to consult with a psychologist who specializes in anger management. He will help you reduce your emotional feelings and physiological arousal before you suffer the consequences of your condition.
Update – see the latest age of ultron for rage meter.